I’ve watched Andy Burnham up close. Trust me, the King of the North’s not up to the job

Yes, he can talk about football and about music. He’s slightly less robotic than Sir Keir, although when asked a hard question he always looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Yes, he can talk about how politics is broken, how the country is broken. The only trouble is he has no clue about how to fix any of it.

For nearly a decade, he’s not had the power to fix anything. He’s had the easy job of running a biggish city, and he’s not even managed that terribly well.

However, the fact is that in less than a month, this stuttering, stumbling political deadbeat is most probably going to be walking through the doors of No10 to face the tsunami of chaos left by Sir Keir, and he doesn’t have the first clue how to deal with it.

He’s literally got nothing – no team, no plan, no policies – except for a smattering of northern charm which doesn’t matter a tuppenny damn on the world stage.

The man’s been out of mainstream politics for nearly a decade, living under the ludicrous misnomer ‘King of the North’.

Yet, for some unfathomable reason, Labour MPs believe he’s the bloke to save Britain and the party.

And the very fact the party believes this drivel proves what out-of-touch eejits they all are. Believing Andy Burnham is up to the gargantuan task of running a country is believing the moon is made of green cheese.

More importantly, it shows how far down the toilet this party has sunk, because it shows how little real talent there is in the Labour ranks.

They had 400-odd MPs to choose from, and yet they chose a local mayor who’s been out of Westminster for nearly a decade.

These people clearly can’t remember Burnham when he was in Government. I do. He was weak, ineffectual, had very little substance and was always unwilling to take the blame for stuff that happened on his watch.

More importantly, he was useless at making the tough decisions because he’s a people-pleaser who wants to be liked.

But more dangerous than that, he’s also a party pleaser. And he isn’t going to be able to change anything that’s wrong with this country if he continues to try and please – and appease – his party like Sir Keir did.

And just like Starmer – he’s no leader. And in case anyone’s forgotten, when he tried to be leader in 2010, he was fourth out of five contenders. He tried again in 2015 and lost to the bozo Corbyn – all because he was seen as a politician whose views changed with the wind. Translated? A man who believes in nothing.

Sound familiar? But back when he was in Government, Labour still had politicians who were regarded as big beasts – smart, intellectual, and instinctive with the temperament to make the big decisions under pressure.

Andy Burnham was never one of those. He was a minnow – an earnest little northern bloke – nice enough but with no pzazz, no flair, someone who’d never had a real job outside politics. And that’s still the case.

After he was rejected by Westminster, he scuttled back up north and grabbed the safe-but-prestigious job as Manchester’s Mayor. It was a job that gave him the kudos he craved and could never achieve among the big boys in Government.

Now, 10 years on, he’s being dragged back to lead this country, and it’s bloody terrifying.

Because if you thought Starmer was the Man Without a Plan, welcome Andy Burnham, the Man Without A Clue.

We have no idea what this man believes in, how he will perform under pressure, or how he will be seen on the global stage, though I doubt his northern charm will cut it at a Nato meeting or the G7 summit.

We know nothing of his judgement, his ability to make the tough decisions. As for the fools who see him as the messiah, they clearly don’t know his reputation for being indecisive, for being a man who never knew or cared much about policy details.

This is the bloke who, as Health Secretary, catastrophically mishandled the Staffs Hospital crisis, where 12,000 people died needlessly. His department had 60 complaints from petrified families asking for a review of this dangerous trust, and they were ignored.

Let’s not pretend he was a fabulous Manchester Mayor either. Greater Manchester Police was put into special measures on his watch – he failed to notice it wasn’t recording crimes and was generally doing a terrible job.

He also oversaw one of the gravest policing failures in Manchester history – Operation Augusta, a review into the sexual exploitation of children in the city. The review identified 57 children who’d been abused, some as young as 12, and 97 potential offenders, few of whom were ever prosecuted. And the operation was prematurely shut down.

Burnham also commissioned the Rochdale grooming review, which identified 96 men who were still considered risks. And what did he do about locating and prosecuting these men? Nothing, as far as I can tell.

Yes, he might have backed Hillsborough victims, but I would argue he totally failed the victims of the child grooming gangs in Oldham and Rochdale.

And what that says about him is that he’s a man incapable of being accountable, and yet he’s about to become our next Prime Minister.

Apart from the fact no one knows if he’s capable of doing the job, the fact he is being catapulted into Downing Street is thoroughly anti-democratic. No one voted for this local mayor to lead our country. The only people who want him are the same people who thought Starmer would make a great Prime Minister.

Yes, Starmer had to go. But is a bloke whose been out of mainstream politics for nearly a decade really the best Labour’s got?

I want to say, “He can’t be worse than Starmer. Give him a chance. He might be good.” But I know he won’t be.

I’ve watched this doe-eyed pretender in action. I know he belly flops in the face of pressure. I know he’s incapable of taking responsibility for cock-ups. I know he’s way further to the left than Starmer.

I know he’ll cripple us with even higher taxes. I know he’ll bend over backwards to please the party instead of looking after the best interests of the British people.

He’ll have no idea how to handle the £3trillion debt. He won’t have the guts to take money from benefits to shore up our military. But most importantly, his master won’t be us – the British people – it’ll be the hard left and the unions, who together will destroy what’s left of this country.