A Republican hoping to challenge Rep. Tom Suozzi next year is taking aim at the congressman’s sharply rising net worth — and doing it with heavy sarcasm.
GOP candidate Greg Hach blasted Suozzi after the Democrat’s financial disclosures showed his wealth has surged from about $2.8 million to nearly $13 million during his seven years in Congress — a jump Hach described as astonishing.
“It’s miraculous. Truly. A 450% leap!” Hach said, joking that Suozzi’s investment performance has even outpaced legendary billionaire Warren Buffett. “At this rate of return, Taxman Tom could probably cut the federal deficit in half within a decade. Remarkable.”
Suozzi’s 2024 disclosure, filed in May, lists assets including commercial real estate, a biotech startup, a Southampton summer camp, Treasury bills, a Merrill Lynch tax-deferred account, and the Suozzi Family Trust.
Hach — an Air Force veteran and attorney — continued the mockery, claiming, “Our financial prayers have been answered.” He added sarcastically, “Of course, we all know Mr. Suozzi would never use insider knowledge from Congress. That would be ghastly.” He went on to label Suozzi “the Mozart of mutual funds, the Shakespeare of shares, the Einstein of equities” and declared he should be officially recognized as the “U.S. Stock Savant.”
Suozzi has faced criticism before for failing to report stock trades on time, in violation of the STOCK Act, which requires members of Congress to disclose transactions over $1,000 within 30 days and strictly no later than 45.
Hach also quipped that Suozzi should share his supposed market brilliance with local youth: “With results like his, it would be negligent not to get him into the classroom,” he said, suggesting he teach teens in New York’s 3rd Congressional District. “Kids need algebra, sure — but they also need to learn the difference between ordinary investing and whatever witchcraft Taxman Tom’s conjuring.”
Hach noted that he keeps his own assets in a blind trust and promised to continue doing so if elected.
A spokesperson for Suozzi’s campaign dismissed Hach’s attacks as political noise. “Voters are tired of games,” said senior adviser Kim Devlin. “A misleading and uninformed interpretation of public disclosure reports won’t distract from Congressman Suozzi’s work on bipartisan legislation to reduce health care costs, address immigration and border issues, and make life more affordable.”
Devlin added that Suozzi supports bipartisan efforts currently moving through Congress to ban lawmakers from owning individual stocks altogether.
